Song Exploder is literally bursting with tears and it’s amazing

I wasn’t expecting a podcast about music to come with a trigger warning.

My friend Nathaniel Fregoso (The Blood Arm) had recommended that I listen to the Billie Eilish episode of Song Exploder. He said it had some great first-hand insights about songwriting as a creative process. So I put on my headphones, and the first thing I hear is: “Before we get started, a note about this episode….” The host, Hrishikesh Hirway, goes on to explain that the interview includes a frank discussion about suicide, and then he gives out a crisis hotline number.

Okay, you definitely have my attention.

Anyone who’s listened to Hirway’s podcast would agree that he’s a highly skilled interviewer. Most of the time you never even hear his voice. He elicits responses from his guests in a way that he can edit himself out of the final broadcast and just let them speak. It feels weirdly like you, the listener, are the one silently asking the questions.

And Nathaniel was right, of course: the Billie Eilish episode goes really deep on how she and her producer-brother Finneas wrote their second huge hit single, “Everything I Wanted.” If you’re a songwriter, things like this are very inspiring to hear directly from the artist.

“None of this is why I ended up spending the next several weeks binge-listening to 35 episodes of Song Exploder.”

But none of this is why I ended up spending the next several weeks binge-listening to 35 episodes of Song Exploder. For me, the most compelling aspect of the show is how much trust and intimacy Hirway is able to build with his guests. He consistently creates a space where people feel safe enough to talk very candidly about some of the most deeply personal, emotional experiences that have driven their songwriting.

Billie Eilish starts discussing a period of suicidal ideation. Clairo relates the full heartbreaking true story behind “Alewife.” Julien Baker from boy genius shares her experience of recovering from addiction and depression while writing “Appointments.” Even Justin Vernon from Bon Iver gets choked up talking about recording “Holyfields.”

Every episode isn’t so intense as to require a trigger warning, thankfully. But I was shocked at how many episodes end up with the guest in tears at some point—and me usually crying right there along with them. Just listening in on these stories is a great education and catharsis in itself. But hearing exactly how these writers used the act of creation as part of their own self-care is truly inspiring.

Here are some of my favorite Song Exploder episodes; obviously it was hard for me to narrow it down. Not all of them are tear-jerkers, but fair warning: you may want to have some tissues on hand.

• Julien Baker: “Appointments”
• Feist: “In Lightning”
• Bjork: “Stonemilker”
• Peaches: “Boys Wanna Be Her”
• Perfume Genius: “Slip Away”
• Joy Oladukun: “Look Up”
• Hans Zimmer: Dune soundtrack
• Arlo Parks: “Black Dog”
• girl in red: “Serotonin”
• Sasha Sloan: “Until It Happens To You”
• Billie Eilish: “Everything I Wanted”
• Phoebe Bridgers: “Scott Street”
• Clairo: “Alewife”
• Robyn: “Honey”
• Bon Iver: “Holyfields,”
• Sharon Van Etten: “Seventeen”
• Cat Power: “Woman”
• Liz Phair: “Divorce Song”